make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
