Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
