dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Can Purell be used as lube?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
