So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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