I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
