I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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