Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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