jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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