she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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