Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
