He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
