if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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