tell your sister to shave her snatch
she smelled like a LAN party
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
