I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
love makes seman taste better
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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