You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
