We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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