When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
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Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
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Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere