just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.