Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR

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  (412): my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR http://tfl.nu/zpxr
  Replies (4) Good night (768) Bad night (887)
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  (858): View more from California

  that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...

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  (858): that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey... http://tfl.nu/6cil
  Replies (12) Good night (4224) Bad night (751)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.

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  (980): How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv. http://tfl.nu/1i2g
  Replies (10) Good night (701) Bad night (1929)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.

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  (702): think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010. http://tfl.nu/zikd
  Replies (17) Good night (638) Bad night (3287)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm

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  (954): I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm http://tfl.nu/muws
  Replies (8) Good night (3786) Bad night (1108)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms

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  (785): He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms http://tfl.nu/p81e
  Replies (12) Good night (843) Bad night (3757)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.

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  (414): in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself. http://tfl.nu/j69f
  Replies (5) Good night (3880) Bad night (1572)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.

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  (214): So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo. http://tfl.nu/7r9s
  Replies (3) Good night (1673) Bad night (417)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...

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  (803): Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement... http://tfl.nu/7rvh
  Replies (13) Good night (1373) Bad night (784)
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  (408): View more from California

  Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship

  (817): View more from Texas

  Last one there wins

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  (408): Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship (817): Last one there wins http://tfl.nu/wuri
  Replies (3) Good night (1988) Bad night (575)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?

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  (616): Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything? http://tfl.nu/t3z5
  Replies (23) Good night (2586) Bad night (749)
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  (212): View more from New York

  That accounts for only three of the penises

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  (212): That accounts for only three of the penises http://tfl.nu/jbaz
  Replies (6) Good night (587) Bad night (318)
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  (718): View more from New York

  With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult

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  (718): With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult http://tfl.nu/nn1s
  Replies (7) Good night (631) Bad night (309)
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  (315): View more from New York

  My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.

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  (315): My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair. http://tfl.nu/70uu
  Replies (6) Good night (656) Bad night (303)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture

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  (425): But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture http://tfl.nu/bm5g
  Replies (1) Good night (374) Bad night (159)

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