you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
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He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
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Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.