Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.

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  (517): Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever. http://tfl.nu/y7ox
  Replies (47) Good night (4201) Bad night (1359)
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  (356): View more from

  her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..

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  (356): her boobs were like sundried tomatoes.. http://tfl.nu/wyr4
  Replies (31) Good night (611) Bad night (8777)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...

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  (540): I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant... http://tfl.nu/4jrj
  Replies (17) Good night (4067) Bad night (755)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again

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  (912): then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again http://tfl.nu/50xv
  Replies (28) Good night (1034) Bad night (4919)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?

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  (253): i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class? http://tfl.nu/um7r
  Replies (46) Good night (2165) Bad night (4725)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.

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  (503): She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body. http://tfl.nu/sy4q
  Replies (22) Good night (8031) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...

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  (325): She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised... http://tfl.nu/ztyt
  Replies (38) Good night (4093) Bad night (2295)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.

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  (501): It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool. http://tfl.nu/crm3
  Replies (4) Good night (2030) Bad night (936)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.

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  (804): I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up. http://tfl.nu/0inz
  Replies (16) Good night (1307) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,

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  (609): i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina, http://tfl.nu/dlk2
  Replies (15) Good night (1157) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room

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  (715): And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room http://tfl.nu/oply
  Replies (5) Good night (880) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.

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  (405): I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome. http://tfl.nu/n5tl
  Replies (0) Good night (678) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I have poison ivy on my dick

  (1-870): View more from Arkansas

  WHAT

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  (870): I have poison ivy on my dick (1-870): WHAT http://tfl.nu/5c6b
  Replies (8) Good night (354) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You are living the dream.

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  (617): The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent (603): You are living the dream. http://tfl.nu/ydgw
  Replies (5) Good night (1213) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants

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  (336): I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants http://tfl.nu/fpn9
  Replies (2) Good night (301) Bad night (535)

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