Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.

  (818): View more from California

  First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.

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  (323): may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in. (818): First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats. http://tfl.nu/s5xw
  Replies (41) Good night (7896) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers

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  (416): He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers http://tfl.nu/ldwb
  Replies (15) Good night (5018) Bad night (1507)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.

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  (408): My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me. http://tfl.nu/7zz8
  Replies (5) Good night (1336) Bad night (2321)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.

  (254): View more from Texas

  He's majoring in Religion

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  (254): I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka. (254): He's majoring in Religion http://tfl.nu/gx54
  Replies (9) Good night (2624) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted

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  (250): Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted http://tfl.nu/o9wr
  Replies (5) Good night (1494) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.

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  (918): Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time. http://tfl.nu/hv9q
  Replies (1) Good night (778) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more

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  (404): Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more http://tfl.nu/o773
  Replies (8) Good night (733) Bad night (1737)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.

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  (603): Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj. http://tfl.nu/n7sy
  Replies (6) Good night (1201) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i think i might be a female sloth

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  (617): female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away (781): i think i might be a female sloth http://tfl.nu/d8fr
  Replies (5) Good night (2033) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand

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  (832): I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand http://tfl.nu/owk1
  Replies (3) Good night (540) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!

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  (412): Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life! http://tfl.nu/3yi6
  Replies (6) Good night (1035) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.

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  (281): My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club. http://tfl.nu/vm7c
  Replies (3) Good night (745) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick

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  (517): fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick http://tfl.nu/h8fw
  Replies (4) Good night (1023) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.

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  (613): After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot. http://tfl.nu/zug5
  Replies (4) Good night (915) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you have pictures of my pancakes

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to show the world

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife

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  (484): Do you have pictures of my pancakes (484): I need to show the world (484): They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife http://tfl.nu/b4f9
  Replies (0) Good night (501) Bad night (285)

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