Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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