what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea