bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills