like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
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i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
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I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.