So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
