Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
