we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize