she smelled like a LAN party
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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