they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
third nipple confirmed
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
