My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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