I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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