Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
