Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
