Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i out mim tonsoeep
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