dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
