they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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