Just cropdusted the office
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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