we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize