The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
