There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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