I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
