i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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