eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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