I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
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The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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