You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
