Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

have you facebook stalked him yet?

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

No, I don’t know his last name...

(803): View more from South Carolina

Just google his license plate numb

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(813): View more from Florida

He had one of those small greek statue penises

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(614): View more from Ohio

you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"

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(719): View more from Colorado

Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.

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(970): View more from Colorado

A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.

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(425): View more from Washington

I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth

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