just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
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do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
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Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.