First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
