Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
