3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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