They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
