...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
sarcasm needs its own font
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
