that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
