Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
