Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
