Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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