But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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