I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
