I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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