3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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