So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize