trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
