Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i need an iv and a liver transplant
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
