the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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