My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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