at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
