So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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