I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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