Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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