dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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