So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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