Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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