i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
